


Berry Blue

by UFO_Spotter26



Series: I'm a Sucker for You [1]
Category: Girl Defined - Bethany Baird & Kristen Clark, Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Crying During Sex but It's Not Sexual, Drunken Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Rimming, Roommates, Sex in a Car, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-24 21:33:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22224811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UFO_Spotter26/pseuds/UFO_Spotter26
Summary: Cody always liked the berry blue lollipops more and Noel always remembered that.Noel's point of view is on here first but that's just because I wrote it first. You can read these in any order though, it doesn't matter.
Relationships: Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Series: I'm a Sucker for You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599772
Comments: 10
Kudos: 75





	Berry Blue

**Author's Note:**

> This was just supposed to be a quick one shot about suckin dicks with red stained lips and now it's long as shit and has two different point of views.

Anyone who watched Noel, like, _really_ watched him, would know he had a thing for Cody. There weren't many things in the world that could bring him to his knees, but when it came to Cody he was fucking weak for him. He didn't know when he liked him, maybe he always did. He liked looking at him, he was happy all the time, so much that it would probably be annoying if he wasn't so sweet. He was slightly pudgy with kind eyes and a smile that lit up a room. He only remembered snippets of their first meeting as children, Cody asking him to be his friend. How soft Cody felt hugging him when he said yes. He'd never had a friend before.

It's Valentine's day and he's sixteen trying to figure out why none of the girls interest him. He's kissed a girl before and she was soft and he thinks he liked it but he knows he'd like it more if that girl was Cody. Cody was soft like a girl, pretty eyes, kinda long hair. Noel always thought he was a pretty boy. Guys were about as interesting as girls to him but there was something different about Cody. He smelled different, being around him felt different. He felt safe around him. He felt like he was home.

Noel goes through his candygrams, eagerly looking to see if any of them had Cody's name on it. He'd written one for Cody, just three words, but they were the most important ones. He didn't put his name on it, with his handwriting he really didn't need to. Cody would recognize it for sure. The bright red suckers had filled up a small bag in his locker. He read every single card twice in hopes that one of them was Cody, that maybe one would be in his handwriting but none of them were. He tossed the card and kept the candy. He pocketed some of the lollipops, not really sure why he did it. He liked them but not that much. It's time for gym and he's thankful the coach is hungover and told them to do whatever they wanted while he napped in his office. He watched a group of girls walk by while he was sat on the bleachers. They look at him for a minute before speaking up, "I heard he got a lot of them during first period, he'll probably get way more tomorrow too."

"He's actually kind of cute," the thin blonde says. 

"Oh my gosh, Kristen, don't even think about it! He probably has sex before marriage," the other girl scolds her, "Dad would flip if he found out you were with someone who isn't religious."

He watches them walk past, Kristen giving him a small wave until Bethany puts her hand down, "Kristen!" 

"I'm just being polite," she explains.

Bethany grabs her arm and pulls her away from Noel and even though he doesn't like Kristen in that way he can't help but wave back at her. She smiles and looks away and soon he feels a warmth next to him. He turns seeing Cody smiling, "you know, she'd probably stop dating Zack if you asked her out. She's got a big crush on you. Though that could be because you exude bad boy energy."

He snorts, "bad boy energy?" 

"That's what I heard her say, she sent you a candygram you know?"

"Speaking of candygrams," he says, "did you get any?"

"I got a few," he says, "finished all the candy though."

"Did you get any from anyone special? Anyone you like?"

"No."

Noel's heart sinks and he frowns, "no one special?"

"Nope," he sighs, "what about you, you get any from anyone you like?"

He shrugs, not answering the question as he pulls the suckers from his pocket and Cody looks at them, "you're so lucky people like you. I ran out of my suckers super fast."

He unwraps one and offers it to Cody, "here, you want it?" 

"I can have it," he asks. 

"Sure."

He beams at him and takes it, immediately pushing it past his lips, "thanks!"

Noel listens to him ramble on about the two sisters as he watches him suck on the candy, his lips slowly staining red as he smiles. Eventually he pulls it from his mouth, licking it slow, "you know, these are so good and they're not even the best ones. The berry blue ones are my favorite because they're just blue raspberry. Which ones are your favorite?"

"The red ones," he says, trying not to stare at him too much, "uh, very cherry."

"The red ones make me look like I'm wearing lipstick." 

"Yeah," he asks looking at him.

"Yeah," he says pulling it from his mouth and pushing out his lips in a pout, "see? They're very cherry."

And that's when he thought it, _God I wanna see what he tastes like, I wanna know what it feels like to be inside him. I wonder if he'd moan like they do in porn if we had sex._

He found himself letting Cody have his candy and even going to the store and buying the blue kind of the same brand just for him. He first wondered if buying all of them was even worth it, but when Cody got used to receiving them and eventually just started holding out his hand to him he knew it was worth it. 

\---

The first time he kissed Cody it wasn't anywhere romantic. Cody had dragged him to a party thrown by Kristen and her sister, a small end of the year party that would soon turn into a shit show with everyone trashing the house, getting wasted, and fucking in their living room while the girls were frantically trying to fix everything. Cody wasn't as drunk as some people there, but he was stumbling like Noel. And once they were in the bathroom Cody was pressing closer to him and touching his face, "got one of those suckers on you?" 

He nods, and when he struggles to find it he's falling onto the floor and Cody's laughing, soon joining him and sitting in his lap, "you're fucked up." 

"So are you." 

He touches Noel's pockets until he finds it and takes it out, sucking on it and putting his arms around him as he lays on his shoulder, "I love hanging out with you. You're my best friend."

"Is that as close as we'll ever be," he asks, "just best friends?"

He pulls the lollipop from his mouth, tongue and lips staining blue, "how close do you want to be?" 

Cody pushes the lollipop in his mouth, sucking as he waits for an answer. He watches Cody cheek the sucker before pulling it out, licking over it, and pushing it between his lips again. He smiles and presses his forehead to his after removing the sucker from his mouth. He wraps his arm around him, careful to not get the candy in his hair, "this close?"

Noel doesn't answer and Cody kisses him slow. When he pulls back he bats his eyelashes at him, "this close?"

He swallows hard and Cody holds the sucker to Noel's lips. Normally he'd be disgusted with a spit soaked candy but right now he thinks it's kind of hot. He opens his mouth and closes his lips around it and Cody moves down to suck on his neck. He gets hard in his jeans and soon Noel's eyes rolling back in his head when Cody's tongue is tracing his ear, "this close?" 

The lips moves down, to his collarbone, Cody's fingers undoing his pants. He doesn't stop him and when his hand goes down Noel's jeans and palms him through the front of his underwear his mind's going between Cody's hand on him and the tongue sliding across his skin. He grabs Cody's hands holding them up and watching him look at him startled. He moves Cody against the tiled floor and pulls the sucker from his mouth, looking down at him. Cody's arms go limp under his grasp and he raises his hips up to meet Noel's. The older boy leans in kissing him hard before pulling back and sticking his tongue out. Cody mimes the action and Noel places the lollipop on his tongue. He closes his mouth around it and Noel's pushing his shirt up and undoing the jeans on him tugging them down as he kisses his way to his stomach, "wanna be this close. Wanna be so much closer, Cody, you have no idea."

And Cody's laughing and pulling Noel's face back up to his, "that tickles."

"Tell me what you want," he breathes, forehead against his as Cody's fingertips tap his cheeks. He's waiting for the word, any command but Cody just smiles and looks over his face, "you know, you've got little tiny freckles on your face. I never noticed that before."

"Yeah," he asks. 

"I wanna go home," he finally says, "will you take me home?"

_He was just fucking with me. Of course he doesn't want me like that. We're friends. Just friends._

"Yeah," he says, immediately flushing with embarrassment, "yeah, I'll take you home."

He pulls Cody's pants up, buttoning them before he buttons his own and helps him stand up. His a little wobbly, but he forces himself to seem sober as he walks him outside. They walk to Cody's house, it isn't too far and when they reach it Cody's taking a spare key from under the mat and unlocking the door, practically dragging Noel up the stairs with him. When they make it to his room Cody's dropping the stick in the trash once his candy's gone, pulling Noel onto the bed with him. Once Noel's laid back Cody's moving to lay beside him. Cody kicks his shoes off and Noel does the same. The younger boy gets his jeans off, tossing them before getting under the blanket. Noel removes his shirt and pants before relaxing under the blanket with him. Cody's moving to lay on his arm, reaching over to grab Noel's free arm and put it around himself. He never asks Noel to hold him, just makes him do so. He smiles and Cody tucks his head into the crook of his neck, "goodnight, Noel."

"Goodnight, Cody."

\---

They didn't talk about that night. He and Cody were still friends, still close, they just never brought it up. Noel thought about it a lot though, he remembered everything, and every time Cody smiled at someone with the smile he usually reserved for him he wonders about it. If it was just a drunk mistake of if he was just playing with him because he knew. _Does he know? Of course he knows, I never look at anyone else there's no way he doesn't know. And my handwriting on the card? He knows me, he knows I sent it._

"Noel, there you are, I've been looking for you," he says, putting his hand on him. 

Cody was always touching him in some way when they spoke, Noel always thought it meant something but with how often Cody touches other people he thinks maybe it doesn't mean anything. Maybe it's just something Cody's does to keep peoples attention on him when he speaks. Cody's arms slide around his waist and hold him as his head goes to his neck, "I haven't seen you in a while. I missed you." 

"You did," he asks. 

He pulls back, beaming at him, "of course I did. You're almost never on campus, you just hang out in your apartment all the time. I barely see you. Can't remember the last time I saw you."

_It was three weeks and four days ago. I remember._

"Me either," he says. 

His hands go down to Noel's pockets patting them before snaking his hands in Noel's hoodie pockets, "aha! You do have one on you." 

He pulls out the blue sucker and unwraps it before popping it into his mouth with a smile, "you still care about me after all this time."

"Of course I do," he says. 

_You already know that I'd do anything for you._

"You still have your old car right?" 

"Yeah, I drove it here actually." 

He nods, "meet me in the front in like two minutes." 

"What? Why?"

"Just do it, please," he asks, giving him the puppy eyes. 

_You still know how to get me to do whatever you want._

"Alright." 

Cody heads off to the kitchen and Noel waits outside. It's kind of cold outside for a spring night. He looks around at the lamps before putting his hands in his pockets. A minute and a half goes past and finally Cody's outside with a jacket and a bottle of ciroc. Cody'd cheeked the lollipop and wiggled his brows and Noel can't help but smile as they head to his car. Once Cody's in the passenger side Noel looks over, "so what's the plan?"

"Drive, I'll tell you which way to go." 

They buckle in and Noel's following Cody's directions until they're parked near the side of a cliff overlooking the city. It was secluded and away from the road and Noel reached for his phone to take a picture but knew that no photo could ever do it justice. Cody opens the bottle and pulls the lollipop from his mouth, "it's beautiful, right?"

"It's perfect. How'd you even find this place?" 

"Stumbled upon it," he says, "nearly fucking died here."

"What," he asks growing serious.

He shrugs, "some asshole ran me off the road and kept going. I almost fell off, my tire was about an inch away. I should be mad about it, pissed even but when I was turning my car around I found this spot. It's hidden by these trees."

He points around them, "sometimes I come up here and I think about what would have happened, you know? What if I went over? So many things I didn't get to say or do and if I would have went over I never would have been able to say or do them."

"Like what," he asks, "what did you want to say?"

His mouth is around the bottle as he looks over the edge but when he pulls it back and swallows he's smiling, "I don't even remember."

"What did you want to do?"

"Show you this spot," he says, handing the bottle to him.

He takes it and gives him a look, "I can't drink here, I have to drive home."

"I was kind of hoping we could stay here."

"What, like, sleep here in my car?"

And Cody goes quiet before shrugging, "just an idea I had. We don't have to though, just wanted to show you this place." 

There's a look in Cody's eyes and Noel's not quite sure what it means but he can tell Cody doesn't wanna leave, not yet anyway. He takes a swig from the bottle, nothing to chase it with. He makes a face and Cody holds out his lollipop, "here."

He takes it, shoving it in his mouth while Cody takes the bottle and gulps down another good amount of it. He turns to him and pulls the sucker from his mouth taking it back and handing him the bottle. Noel holds it for a second and Cody takes his seat belt and jacket off before relaxing the seat back a little. He stares at the sky for a while as Noel watches silently. He thinks about turning on the radio but the second he reaches for the knob Cody's talking, "do you ever think about the future?"

"In general or a specific thing about the future?"

"Like who you're gonna end up with."

When Noel doesn't answer Cody turns to him, batting his lashes at him as he patiently waits for an answer. Noel shrugs his shoulders and begins drinking more alcohol, more than Cody had, "I don't think about stuff like that."

_I'm a liar._

"Never," he asks, sitting up to look at him. 

"Never."

_I'm a fucking liar._

He looks at him with a small smile, "do you think we'll always be friends?"

"Of course we will," he says, "that's the one thing about the future I'm certain of."

"Really," he asks, "we'll be friends? No matter what happens?"

"No matter what happens."

He smiles at him and Noel caps the bottle, setting it aside and making a face at the taste while he undoes his seat belt. Cody leans in closer, pulling the sucker from his mouth, his lips stained blue as smiles at him. He offers the stick to him, "this should get the taste out of your mouth." 

He looks at it and how close Cody is and he takes a chance and opens his mouth for it. He doesn't reach for it and soon the dirty blond is taking the hint and touching it to his tongue. His mouth closes around the little bit that's left and his teeth bite down. They stare into each other's eyes for a long time until Cody's moving to sit in his lap. The movement is slow, painfully so, but the way Noel's heart is racing he still thinks it's too fast. When Cody's fully seated he leans in, pressing his face into his neck before his arms come around him. Cody liked to hold him when he was drunk, it was one of the reasons he drank with Cody when he did. It was the only time he'd ever get close to him. But Cody doesn't stay still for long, his mouth places gentle kisses against his neck and Noel thinks about it for a while. 

_Am I really going to do this to myself again?_

His hand goes in the back of Cody's hair and pulls it until he's off his neck. Cody's eyes are wide and searching his own for something. Noel isn't sure what he's looking for but he looks to Cody's mouth and sees the pink lips stained with blue. He doesn't reach for the hand in his hair, but he does reach up to touch the freckles on Noel's cheeks, fingertips lightly tapping each one. And he's pulling Cody in, kissing him so hard he hopes he busts his own lip. He wants it to hurt, needs to feel it bleed to know that this actually happened, he wants to know that this isn't something he dreamed up. Cody's hands hold his face before moving to his jacket. His fingers unzip it while Noel's tongue rolls over his, licking the blue raspberry taste out of his mouth. 

Noel gets Cody's shirt off and pulls off his jacket before going back to kissing him, eyes closed and moving down his neck, sucking hickeys into his skin he hopes anyone else who looks at Cody sees. He wants them to know Cody was his, that he'd seen someone before them. He wanted anyone who even thought about laying a finger on him to know that someone else had already beaten them to it. Cody lets out a breath and Noel's trying to find which places he could suck on that would make him moan. Cody holds onto Noel's shirt, moaning before reaching down for his pants and unbuttoning them. He moves to the side, pulling his jeans off and looking at Noel. He looks down at Cody's underwear and he soon removes them too before moving back to his lap and kissing him. Noel's hands go to his waist before tracing down his spine to hold onto his ass. The dirty blond is eager and soon reaches under himself to unzip Noel's jeans. He keeps hesitating and Noel's not sure if he's regretting this or not. He thinks about telling him they can stop, that they don't have to, but Cody's hand goes down his underwear this time. Hand wrapping around his erection and stroking slow as he kissed Noel's neck.

He moans, eyes closed as Cody's licking a line up and biting his earlobe, "do you want me?"

"Yeah," he breathes, "yeah, I want you, baby."

He pulls back and Cody reaches for his jacket pulling a small tube of lube from the pocket. Noel reaches for the glove box and takes a condom out while Cody twists the top off the tube. Cody lifts his hips and Noel pushes his pants and underwear down past his knees before tearing the condom wrapper with his teeth. He takes out the sticky circle and quickly rolls it on before Cody's pouring lube over the condom until is nearly covered. He lowers himself down over it, the tip pressing against his hole. Before Noel can reach under him and slowly ease it in Cody's sinking down and letting it push inside him. And the sound Cody makes when it's in him makes Noel want to flip him around and fuck him against the steering wheel. 

He wants him to hold onto the wheel while he fucks him until he's finishing in the floorboard. But Cody's holding onto him, sinking all the way down before kissing him and moving his hips. Noel's hands are on his ass, pulling him forwards and backwards while he thrusts his hips up into his. He's panting against his lips, the smell of blue raspberry and vodka filling his nose. When Cody moves to his neck he isn't rough. He doesn't suck on his skin or bite down, he doesn't try to mark him and Noel feels like that means something. _Maybe he doesn't want to remember this. Of course he doesn't want to remember this. Taking me somewhere secluded, no marks, no bed. No one to know, no one to see us together._

"I love you," Cody says.

It's soft and the words hurt, _fuck_ they cut deep. He's panting and going faster and when Cody tries to move to kiss him he keeps his head at his neck when a tear slips down his cheek. 

_Fucking pathetic. Crying while fucking the guy of your dreams? So fucking pathetic._

"I love you," Cody moans.

_He's lying._

He fucks him harder, pulling his hair and hoping he moans so he stops saying it. 

"I love you," he whispers.

_He's lying. He's only doing this because he knows how weak you are for him, how eager you are to give him what he wants. This is all you'll ever be to him._

Cody's kissing his cheek and Noel lets go of his hip to wipe the tears before they fall, drying his hands on jeans before he puts his hand back. Cody's arms go around his neck as he's whispering, "you can take your time with me. I'm not in a rush."

He does what he says and one of Cody's hands go up to play with his hair. _His fingers feel good when they do that._

"I like it like this," he says, rubbing his cheek against his neck. His voice gets softer, "you're always so good to me." 

_He knows._

He kisses his neck again, "I love you."

He thinks about saying it back, he wants to. He wants nothing more than to say it back, hold him closer, never let him go. _Once you say it he's got you forever. You'll be under his thumb. He could never love you back and you know that._

\---

They don't talk about it, that night, the next morning, none of it. And if it weren't for the bottle of lube in his floorboard he didn't buy he probably wouldn't have believed it happened. It's a new semester when he sees Cody, the dirty blond seeming happy and the hickeys Noel had left now practically gone. He smiles when he sees Noel and soon he's heading over, a slightly taller man following him, "hey! Jesus, dude, we need to start hanging out more. This is getting ridiculous not seeing each other for so long."

"Yeah," he nods, eyes going to the guy behind Cody who's already looking at him. His blue eyes were casually looking over him and the second Cody turns around to look behind him the guy's using his sun-kissed hand to push the sandy hair out of his face. Cody looks to him before laughing, "right, sorry. This is Jeff, he's got a few classes with me so he and I became friends pretty quick. He's still kind of new to this place so I was just showing him around and he was thanking me with lunch. Jeff this is Noel, he's my best friend."

_Best friend. That's got a taste to it._

Noel shakes the guy's hand, looking over him.

_He's probably wondering why Cody's friends with you. He's taller than you and he's way better looking._

He looks disinterested and Noel can't take it and turns back to Cody, "I was about to ask if you wanted to get lunch but if you've already eaten then-"

"I could go for ice cream," he smiles, "Jeff was heading back to get ready for his class anyway."

"It was nice to meet you," Jeff says before turning and patting Cody's shoulder, "see you later, Codes."

_Codes? Ugh._

Cody waves to him with that smile he usually reserves for Noel. He soon turns back around and together they walk to a nearby restaurant, Noel picking up lunch and Cody buying himself ice cream. 

"So," Noel starts, "Jeff seems kind of quiet."

"He's not," Cody insists, "he's just shy around new people. He'll probably get used to you after hanging out with you for a while." 

"He seems used to you," he says, " _Codes._ "

Cody laughs, "it's a nickname. It's nice to have a little nickname that isn't _Chodey._ I call him JJ."

_Kill me._

"That's cute," he says, chewing his fries.

"It's just his way of being friendly."

Noel snorts, "he's being a little more than friendly, don't you think?"

"What?" 

"I'm just saying I think maybe he wants to be a little more than friends."

Cody smiles and shrugs, "he hasn't said anything like that."

_God but you want him to, don't you?_

"Do you want him to," he asks, trying to seem calm as he chews another bite.

_Why'd I ask that, I don't wanna know._

"I don't know," he says, licking at his ice cream, "I hadn't really thought about it."

_He's lying. That guy is good looking, bullshit he hasn't thought about it. He just knows you like him so he's not going to hurt your feelings like that._

"Noel Miller?"

He and Cody turn towards the soft voice seeing a blonde woman smiling at him, he recognizes her right off the bat and gives a smile back, "Kristen Baird."

The small pink smile turns into a bigger grin and a pink tint goes to her cheeks, "I wasn't sure if you'd recognize me."

"How could I forget," he asks. 

_You and your sister are weird._

"Surprise you recognized me," Noel says. 

"Especially since he was turned around," Cody says. 

"Well, I recognized you first," she nods to Cody, "and I just assumed Noel would still be hanging out with you since you two were the best of friends in high school."

"So, what brings you here," Noel asks. 

"Modeling," she nods, "me and my sister both model. What about you? Do you still work with computers?"

He nods, "yeah. Can't believe you're modeling."

The second he says it he's quick to keep talking, "not that you're not pretty. You're gorgeous! I guess I just figured you'd be spreading the word of God somewhere."

She's nodding, as Noel continues, "I mean, you and your sister were religious in high school."

She nods, "yeah. Well we still are, though we don't spend enough time with the church as we'd like to."

She looks at her watch and frowns before taking a pen from her pocket and taking a napkin from the table, scribbling down her number, "um, sorry I have to get going. I've got an appointment I really can't be late for but you and I should definitely catch up sometime."

She hands him the napkin looking nervous. He takes it from her gently, "yeah, that'd be great."

She smiles, cheeks flushing before she gives a small laugh, "well, it was good seeing you both again."

Her eyes go back to Noel's as she speaks softer and tucks her hair behind her ear, "see you later."

His brows go up before coming back down with an amused smile and it only makes her blush more as she turns and walks away. When he looks back to the other man Cody's tossing his ice cream in the trash before propping his head up, "look at you, still making Kristen Baird as horny as ever."

He chuckles and shrugs, "what can I say? I've got that bad boy energy."

He folds the napkin and puts it in his pocket. When he looks back up Cody shakes his head with a smile watching him get back to eating. 

"So," Cody sighs, "are you gonna call her?"

He looks up to see that Cody's not looking at him and instead focused on a guy across the street talking in a suit talking on his bluetooth headset. Noel shrugs, "yeah, maybe."

And Cody's head turns back to him instantly, "what? Really?" 

"Why not? Could be fun hanging out with her, learning about God and everything." 

Cody laughs, "she does not want to hang out. She's tired of waiting to lose her virginity probably and who better to lose it to than her high school crush."

"Thought she liked that Zack guy."

"Didn't you hear? He and Bethany's boyfriend ran away together to like Cabo or something."

"That makes sense."

"Yeah," he says, "Bethany was pissed but something tells me Kristen isn't taking it so hard. Especially now that you're back in her life."

He stares after her, watching her heels click against the pavement. _Heels like that? Religious girls don't wear heels like that. Huh, guess Cody's right, she really is trying to lose it. Good for her._

"Dude, seriously," Cody asks.

He turns back to him and Cody shakes his head with a laugh, "checking out _Kristen Baird_ that openly?"

"I was looking at her shoes. You were right, good girls don't wear shoes like that. She's trying to get fucked."

"So what," Cody asks, "you going to be the one to fuck her?"

_Maybe if I pretend I like her Cody wont think he's got me wrapped around his finger._

"Maybe," he says, "would it be so bad if I did?"

And Cody looks stunned before shaking his head, "n-no, I just thought-"

"What," he asks. 

_That you've got me? That I'm your plaything as long as no one's looking?_

"Nothing," he says, shaking his head, "I guess I just thought she wasn't your type."

"My type? What exactly do you think my type is?"

_Say it. Go ahead and say my type is you. Say guys._

"I just thought blondes weren't your thing." 

He shrugs, "hair color doesn't matter, what matters is she's kinda cute and she's nice."

"Yeah," he says, "but she's super religious and, I don't know? Boring?"

"Well, if she's tired of waiting for someone to come around and fuck her then she can't be that religious. And we really don't know her too well so maybe she isn't that boring," he says finishing the last few bites before throwing his food away and standing.

Cody stands up and the two walk together, "yeah, maybe you're right."

Noel stick his hands in his pockets as they walk to his car and when he feels the lollipops in his pocket he takes one out and nudges him with his elbow. Cody turns and when he sees it he smiles, "my favorite."

He pulls the red one from his pocket and shoves it in his mouth before they make it to Noel's car. Cody gets in the passenger side and when Noel's in the driver's seat he can't help but think about the last time they were in this car. The way Cody crawled into his lap, the way he came moaning his name, the way the car felt when he woke up and he was just gone. He looks over at him watching him buckle up. He has so many questions about that night, so many things he wants to ask. 

_Have you shown that place to other guys? Why'd you leave me there? Did you regret it? Did you hate it? Did I do something wrong? Why did you stop talking to me after that?_

"Hey, so, I was thinking," Cody starts, "there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Yeah," he asks. 

His heart is racing, _is he finally going to talk about that night?_

"Yeah," he says, "the dorms are super loud, people always partying and my roommate's super annoying. I guess I was just wondering if it would be okay if I stayed with you for a while."

He looks over at him and Cody doesn't meet his eyes, he just spins the candy between his fingers before popping it back in his mouth. When he doesn't say anything Cody's talking, "it wouldn't be forever, just until I can find a place on my own and everything, I just really don't want to go back to that dorm. I'd rather stay with you."

_You know, you must know how I feel. I'm trying to get over it, I really am but you just keep pulling me back in. And you know I wont say no. You'll give me that look you always give me and I'll give you whatever you want._

He turns to look at Cody and his eyes are finally on him, eyes doey as he holds onto the sucker looking at him innocently, "would that be okay?"

"Yeah," he says, "yeah, that's fine. Did you want to go get your stuff today or tomorrow?"

"Most of my stuff is already packed, I just have to put it in my car and everything."

_You already knew I'd say yes._

"I'll take you back to campus, help you get your stuff," he says.

He smiles, "you're always so good to me."

_Fuck. You. You know you said those to me when we were in that spot. Why do you always have to hurt me? Why do I always let you?_

He feels like crying but he refuses to do so. Not in front of Cody, never in front of Cody.

\---

They share a bed. Noel has a couch, a pull out couch that's specifically for guests, and yet he lets Cody sleep next to him. He's woke up with his arms around Cody more than once, Cody's woke up to him holding him more than once. But it never goes farther than holding each other, waking up with an awkward boner pressed against Cody's ass occasionally. But it's different this morning, Cody in a pair of underwear that let his ass hang out halfway. He claimed he bought those kind in a pack because he liked how they felt but Noel knows Cody knows what he's doing. He's got his legs tangled up with his and his arms around Noel's torso. He lays there awake, hearing the soft sighs Cody lets out while he grinds against his thigh. He moves Cody off him and soon when he's waking up he's moving closer and putting his arms back around him, moving closer until he's hard against him. There's no way Cody can't feel his erection on his own and when the dirty blond's letting go he rolls over onto his side not facing him, "good dream?"

_You know why I'm hard._

"Something like that," he responds. 

He looks over his shoulder at him, "you gonna go shower or do you want me to take care of it?"

It's a joke, Noel can tell, but he doesn't care, _he wants me wrapped around his finger? Fine._

"Yeah," he says, "I do."

And Cody's cocking his head before laughing. When Noel doesn't laugh Cody stops and watches the other man push the blanket off himself and rub his dick through his underwear. He looks over him and Noel cocks his head back at him, "aren't you gonna help me?"

When he doesn't move to get up Noel's standing and letting out a breath of laughter before heading into the bathroom. He closes the door and goes to brush his teeth but before he can put the toothpaste on the brush Cody's opening the door and stepping inside with him. He raises a brow and Cody leans back against the door until it clicks closed. He takes the toothbrush from Noel and sets it down before he's leaning in to kiss his neck. Noel grabs his shoulders holding him back and Cody looks embarrassed. Noel pushes the dirty blond hair back and looks over him before he's letting go of his shoulder. Cody leans in kissing up his neck as he moves closer. Noel backs up until Cody's got him against the wall, fingertips in his underwear pulling them down his hips. He kisses down his chest, sinking down to his knees before he's wetting his lips and wrapping them around the head of his cock. And Noel's head hits the wall when he relaxes it back.

He closes his eyes, pulling at the dirty blond hair as his cock sunk deeper in his mouth. He hollows his cheeks around him and bobs his head, lifting a hand to wrap around the base. He pokes his tongue out, licking his lips before he looks down. Cody's eyes look up at him and this look is different, he's not sure what it means but he likes it. He doesn't make him go deeper, he lets him set his own pace and soon he's pulling back to breathe, jerking him off while he does. And when his mouth is back on him he's closing his eyes and holding onto Noel's hips. It's sloppy and wet and when Cody moans around him he wants to cum. He pulls off him again, tongue teasing at the slit before he's sucking the head and jerking him off.

"Fuck," he sighs, "stand up."

Cody stands up and wipes his mouth before looking at him. Noel's hands go to Cody's underwear, pulling them down before reaching for the cabinet. He finds some lube and quickly pours some on his hand before using it on Cody's hole and giving his own cock a once over. He turns Cody to face the mirror, "bend over."

He does as he says, putting his hands flat on the counter and Noel's parting his legs and sliding the tip inside him. Cody moans but doesn't at him through the glass. He uses the lube on his hand to jerk him off while he kissed his neck, "you like it when I touch you like that?"

He nods, whimpering when Noel's thumb teased the head of his cock. He goes slow, hips barely thrusting into his as he sucks a hickey onto his skin, "say it." 

Cody's eyes meet his and his mouth falls open, "I like it when you touch me like that."

His teeth drag down his skin and he bites his shoulder hard. He isn't sure if he wants to leave something for Cody to look at, remind him that _this_ happened or if he just wants to hear Cody moan. He watches his hands grip the sink, knuckles turning white when Noel goes faster. He looks at him through the glass, watching Cody moan and drop his head down to the sink. Noel grabs his hair pulling it back so the deep green eyes are back on him. Cody's mouth is open and he's panting, looking at Noel for a second before he's closing his eyes and biting his lip. 

_He doesn't want to look at me._

He pulls out of him and lets go of his hair, turning him to face him. Before Cody can say a word Noel's picking him up an turning them so he can push Cody up against the wall. He eases back in him and Cody moans, arms going under his to hold onto his shoulders. Noel's lips are on his neck, sucking red marks onto every inch of pale he comes across. He wants him covered in it. _He might not want to look at me but I'm gonna make sure he can't forget about this. I want him to think about this every time he looks in the mirror._

Cody's fingernails dig into the skin of his shoulders and drag down. He tenses at the pain, sucking air between clenched teeth. He uses his hips to keep Cody up while he moves his hands under his knees to spread his legs further apart. Noel goes rougher, hips thrusting up as Cody's adjusting his arms and reaching for Noel's hair. He's panting in his ear, pulling the dark hair while Noel's angling his hips. His lips drag down his skin before his mouth is at his ear, "I love you."

Cody grips tighter and Noel's nosing at his neck as he thinks, _I wonder if he's happy, having me just where he wants me._

He moans, moving harder and faster, Cody moaning louder as Noel speaks, "I love you."

When Cody's silent apart for a few moans he says it again, "I love you."

_You said it to me four times and I wont forget that so I hope you remember this one, Cody._

Cody's breathing gets faster, moans sounding different and Noel can tell he wont need much more of this. He gives a few thrusts, feeling himself coming closer. And when Cody feels like he's holding on for dear life he leans in whispering, "I love you."

Cody cums on his stomach and when his hole clenches tight around him he's pressing Cody against the wall and finishing inside him with a groan, feeling Cody's nails scratch down his back. He soon sets Cody down, pulling out of him and pulling up his underwear. Cody's left leaning up against the wall and he turns to him, "you should shower, I'll make something to eat."

Cody nods and when he gets in the shower Noel's cleaning himself up the best he can. Getting off with him felt good but now that it's over he feels _different._ He leaves the bathroom and heads to the kitchen, making food. He wasn't sure what to make, what do you eat after you fuck your best friend? What do you eat after telling them you love them while you're fucking them? What do you make them when they don't say it back?

_What the fuck have I done? He knows I love him but I didn't have to say it. I'm so fucking stupid, why'd I say it?_

He settles on pancakes, flipping them over and over so he doesn't burn them. Arms soon come around his waist and he turns, Cody letting go. His mouth is hung open and Noel doesn't speak when he looks at him. Cody takes a step back smiling, "the pancakes smell good."

Noel plates two of them and hands it to him without a word. Cody takes it, seeming as if he was going to say something, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't ask about the blowjob or the sex or the 'I love yous' he just sits in the corner of the couch and eats slowly. They don't talk during breakfast, they don't even say goodbye when Noel leaves. He doesn't know how to deal with Cody smiling at him like that, pretending it never happened, touching him and giving him that _Cody look._ He isn't sure why he does what he does next but he finds himself going to every store, searching for the display in every single one and buying every red and blue lollipop that's been put out. He doesn't stop until he's got two whole shopping bags full of them. When he puts them in a big glass container he's bringing them home, carrying them into the apartment. Cody's coming out of the bedroom, backpack on his shoulder looking exhausted. He holds up the oversized cookie jar and Cody looks at it, "what's that?"

"I don't know," he says, "I just went to every store in the city and bought all the red and blue suckers until they were all gone. I even went out of the city."

"Is this why you left? To run around the city searching for all these?"

"Yeah," he says, holding out the giant jar to him, "I just thought that it would be nice to have some for if I'm gone and you want one. Now you don't have to go all the way to the store by yourself for one."

His voice trails off and he realizes how ridiculous he must look holding this much candy for one person, "you can stay here..."

"You did all this for me," he asks.

"Yeah," he says, and his face soon flushes when he gets embarrassed just standing there. He looks to Cody's backpack on his shoulder, "do you have class tonight?"

Cody drops his backpack and sets the jar Noel's holding on the counter before putting his arms around his waist hugging him, "I can skip it."

Noel's arms soon come around him and hold him close, "are you sure?"

He nods, "yeah, I'm sure."

\---

Cody's developed a _habit._ They'll sit beside each other on the couch and Cody will keep scooting closer until he just moves to sit in his lap. Noel never says anything and he doesn't mind, but he knows how Cody gets when he's allowed to sit in his lap. He's touchy, likes having Noel's hands around him. And Noel knows when Cody's horny and wants him, like, _really_ wants him. He'll come into the living room and just sit in his lap without asking or scooting over throughout an episode just to end up there. He'll put Noel's hand in his underwear and his hole will already be dripping lube and waiting to be used. Noel would let him win almost every single time, he'd fuck him while he kept his eyes on the screen. But other times he'd just shove his fingers in him and make him cum during a show he wasn't even paying attention to.

Noel's busy watching a show when Cody comes home, he looks up at him pulling off his jacket and setting his stuff to the side, "I am so fuckin' tired, dude."

"Yeah?"

He turns to look at him, "yeah, so this girl in my class who got put on my team for this fucking history project fucking sucks. Okay, so she gave all of us a task, right? She told me and this other girl we would do research for our topic and then the kid who sucks at history was going to do the oral presentation shit so we didn't have to do it. So our topic is the Titanic, okay?"

"Yeah," he nods, looking to Cody's long sleeve shirt and noticing it's actually his.

"So of course I fucking do research on the Titanic," he says. 

"Yeah."

"And I mean, I got really fucking good research for it the last class meeting, right?"

"Of course." 

_Fuck you look so good in my shirt._

He heads into the bedroom, raising his voice so Noel can hear him, "so I fucking show up today, all ready to hand my shit to her so that I do my part of the fucking project. And you will never fucking _believe_ what she says to me."

"What's that," he asks. 

"She fucking says this 'Oh, I just decided to switch the project, we're doing one on the Great Depression now.'"

"No fucking way," he says.

"Yeah," he says walking back in the room, "so now not only do I feel like I didn't contribute, but now I know so much about the fucking Titanic. I mean, I don't know, I feel like I wouldn't have been mad if Karen had just fucking shot me an email before I did all the work. But she didn't, she just did it out of nowhere."

Cody walks in front of him and sits down on the couch, pants and socks off. Cody's thighs are exposed and his underwear is _short_ way too short and way too cute. They were black underwear with rainbow stars all over them that Noel thinks exposes way too much thigh. He bites his lip and nods, "yeah, she sounds like the worst."

"She is," he says scooting over and wrapping his arms around Noel's bicep, "I wish I were on any other team."

"Well, the semester's almost over, you're almost done."

"Yeah," he says, "it'll be over and then I'll get my own apartment and I don't ever have to work on another team project again."

And soon Noel's boner for Cody in his shirt is gone, "you find a place already?"

He squeezes the bicep a little tighter before stopping and shaking his head, "no, not yet, but I will. I promise. I'll be out of your bed and closet soon. You'll go back to having the whole place to yourself again soon."

I don't want that. I don't want to live alone again.

"It'll be different," he says, "not having you around, eating my food and stealing my clothes."

"Your clothes look better on me anyway," he says, "but yeah. Soon you'll have all your food again, all your clothes back, a cleaner bathroom without all my stuff taking up that space. You'll be able to shower whenever you want. It'll be good. You'll like it."

_I wont._

"With where I'm thinking about going I think the only downside is I wont see you as much as I do now. Maybe we could meet once a week, maybe two?"

_That's too long to wait to see you._

"I'm fucking tired," Noel says, "I was sitting at a desk and staring at a computer screen all day. My eyes are killing me. I think I'm gonna lay down, order some food."

"I'll come with you," he says, "I need a nap after that class."

They head to the bedroom and Cody hops in bed and Noel hands him his phone to order what he wants while he opens drawers in search of his sweatpants. He peels off his jeans and changes before joining Cody in bed. The second he finishes ordering he's rolling over and hugging Noel, resting his head on his chest. Noel's arms come around him and he rests his head on top of his, "what'd you order?"

"Your favorite," he says, "now close your eyes and sleep."

He closes his eyes, rubbing Cody's back while he sighs and moves closer. He opens his eyes and looks down at Cody's back, half his ass hanging out of his underwear. They'd never done it Noel's bed before. It wasn't a rule that they don't or anything, they just never did. They'd done it almost everywhere else though. The bathroom, the couch, the floor, the kitchen, even on the balcony when Cody had Noel's hand over his mouth. It wasn't like Noel hadn't tried, he had, Cody would normally just turn over and go to sleep. Noel didn't think too much of it, he just thought maybe it was a rule Cody had. _Rules are meant to be broken, right?_

He rubs Cody's back up and down, hands moving lower each time they go down. They stop on his hips, thumbs sliding under the shirt and drawing circles on his sides just above the waistband. His hands move lower, fingers tracing along the bottom of the underwear. _If he's not rolling over this time maybe he's thinking about breaking the rule too._ He brings the digits across and moves his other hand to his mouth to wet his fingers. He pulls the underwear to the side slow and uses his fingers to tease his hole open. Cody sighs and pulls back to look up at him, "thought you were tired."

"Not that tired," he smiles, leaning down to kiss his neck.

He takes Noel's hands off him and adjusts his underwear before turning away, "yeah, well, I am."

"What's wrong," he asks, "you never turn down sex."

"Yeah, well, I am today."

"Okay, then we can just sleep."

He reaches out to hold onto him but Cody shifts away from him. He puts distance between them and turns over onto his side away from him trying to think if he'd done something wrong. _I did the dishes, I did the laundry, I didn't leave my socks on the floor. Did he think I wasn't paying attention to his day? Maybe he wanted me to order food._

He turns over to look at his back, "did you need help with your project? I can look up stuff about the Great Depression for you if you want."

"It's fine," he sighs, "I can do it."

_Okay so that's not it._

"Other than that whole situation how was your day?"

"Fine."

_It wasn't fine._

"Are you okay?"

"I'm. Fine."

_Goddamn it, what did I do?_

"Okay, so clearly you're not fine," he says, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you being like this?"

"I just don't wanna fuck you, okay," he asks turning over to look at him.

His eyes are watery and Noel's instantly moving closer to hold his face, "Cody."

"God can you just stop, just stop," he says pushing his hand away and standing up, "I just want you to stop fucking touching me."

"Okay," he sits up, "okay, I'll stop."

Noel stands up and grabs his pillow, "um, you can take the bed, I'll just go nap in the living room."

He leaves the room and takes his seat on the couch. _I touch him too much. This is supposed to be casual for him and I'm touching him too much. I got carried away being around him. Maybe that's why he's moving, maybe he's trying to get away from me, get things between us back to being friends instead of what I'm trying to be with him._

Tears prick at his eyes but he quickly wipes them, _this is so stupid, why am I fucking crying? I knew how this would go. I knew that Cody was going to find another apartment, I knew that whatever this is wasn't going to last. I let myself get caught up in all of it. I tried playing his boyfriend even though he's made it crystal fucking clear that's not what he wants. I'm so fucking stupid._

He hears Cody turn the shower on and Noel lays down on the couch. _I should have just held him. I shouldn't have broke his rule. I should have just been grateful he wanted to lay next to me._

He can't see Cody but he knows he's probably scrubbing his skin right now. He feels like shit, so much so that he's definitely not sleeping now. The shower turns off eventually and he listens for him. He turns on Netflix debating whether he wants to watch another documentary or a show. When the bedroom door opens Cody's coming out in a pair of solid black underwear and a pink long-sleeved shirt. He's drying his hair and tossing the towel in the laundry room before going over and sitting on the couch, "I can't sleep. Put something on."

Noel does as he asks without a word and soon Cody's scooting closer to him, putting his head on his shoulder. They watch the show for a minute and Noel finally works up the courage to speak, "I'm sorry."

The words stay in the air for a while and Noel feels like they aren't enough, "I shouldn't have tried anything with you. You were clearly not interested and I should have just rolled over and went to sleep. I wont try anything with you again, okay?"

Cody doesn't say anything and his voice drops to a whisper, "I promise."

And it's back to being silent again. _Maybe sorry isn't enough. I guess I can always figure out ways to make it up to him. I'll just be his friend from now on. Just his friend. Just friends, no kissing, no touching, no sex. I can do that._

And Cody's looking to him before crawling into his lap and straddling him. His hands hold his cheeks and he leans in kissing him slow.

_God you make it so hard to be just your friend, Cody._

Noel kisses back but doesn't move his hands until Cody's taking them and putting them on his hips. The kiss is deeper than any other kiss they've had, it's passionate but slow. Cody's hips move into his and Noel's hands go up the back of his shirt, feeling the skin underneath and holding onto him. He tilts his head and Noel takes the hint and kisses down his jaw to his neck. His hands slide down Noel's face to his shirt, rubbing his chest through it before he's pulling back and kissing him again. His mouth works with his and he moves Noel's hands lower to his ass before holding onto his shoulders. Noel squeezes him through the fabric before pulling them down. Cody pulls back, adjusting his legs to get the underwear off. 

They're tossed to the floor the second they're off and Cody's back to kissing him. Noel's fingers find his hole and he isn't surprised when he finds it already wet, and lube already leaking out. _I don't know if I'll ever understand him._

He's tugging at the sweatpants and soon Noel's pulling them down, scooping the lube dripping down Cody's inner thigh and using it on himself. Cody doesn't wait though, in seconds he's already hovering over him and sliding it inside himself. Noel's mouth falls open and Cody sinks down with a sigh. Cody's mouth goes to his neck, sucking on different spots to leave marks. It was weird for him to do but Noel wasn't complaining, he welcomed it and even tilted his head so Cody could reach more places. His hips are moving over his, slow at first but soon he builds up to a good pace.

"Cody."

"Don't talk," he whispers. 

He stays quiet and Cody kisses under his ear before he's changing how his hips move. He's panting against him, "fuck!"

Noel stops him and lays him back against the couch, sitting up on his knees. The dirty blond's moaning and spreading his legs farther while Noel's moving one over his shoulder. Cody's moaning before he's gesturing for him to move lower. When he leans down he's pulling him down further for a kiss. A knock at the door interrupts them and Noel shakes his head, "shit."

"Ignore it," he says kissing him. 

Noel kisses him back, letting himself be dragged back down. He gives a few thrusts before the knock comes again. Noel pulls out of him and pulls up his sweat pants. Cody sits up on the couch, watching him walk to the door. When it opens he sees a guy standing there with a bag over his shoulder, "you, uh, Mr. Miller?"

"Yeah," he nods, "yeah, that's me."

He opens the bag and takes out large box and lets Noel set it by the door and heading to the bedroom quick to grab his wallet. When he comes back he's pulling bills from his wallet. He was just about to count out a tip but then he sees the guy looking to the underwear in the floor. Before he can explain, the guy is looking to Cody who's only covering himself with the hem of his long-sleeve shirt. The guy gives a smile and a wave to him while Cody cocks his head at him but doesn't wave back. Noel's immediately pushing the money to his chest before closing the door in his face. He locks it and turns to Cody, rolling his eyes, "fucking horndogs, this is why I don't order with them often, the delivery guys are fuckin' weird. And they're always guys too andyou're laughing, why are you laughing?"

"Just funny seeing you close the door on someone like that." 

"He was checking you out," he says, "who does that? You could be my husband or boyfriend or whatever, he doesn't know us."

"Careful," he says, "you're sounding a little bit possessive of me."

He heads back over to him, kissing him, "I'm not possessive."

"I know," he says, "you just sounded like it for a minute." 

Cody stands and heads over, pulling up his underwear before getting the pizza and setting it on the coffee table. He opens the box and Noel picks up a slice, eating it and trying not to burn the roof of his mouth. Cody's quiet for a minute before he's speaking, "um, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. I wasn't even really mad you were trying to touch me, I don't know why I yelled at you like that. I didn't mean it."

"Why did you snap like that? Was it something I did? Something I said?"

He shakes his head, "it doesn't matter. What matters is I'm sorry. I wont snap at you like that again."

"It was my fault," he tells him, "I know you've got this sort of thing about it anyway."

"Thing," he asks. 

"Well, I mean, we have sex a lot. But we never have sex in our bedroom. We have sex in the bathroom, the couch, the hall, the kitchen, hell, we fucked on the balcony during the day! But we never have sex in our bed."

"I mean, yeah," he says, finishing up another slice, "we can't have sex in it."

He cocks his head, "why not? You don't like it? It's a posturepedic."

Cody shakes his head and bites into another slice as Noel does, "it's not that. I don't care about fucking on a weird old person mattress." 

"I have bad joints!"

"Fucking on a mattress means something to me!"

He cocks his head, "what?"

"You and me, we have sex everywhere but friends can do that, friends can have sex as long as it's not in a bed. Sex in a car or in a shower doesn't have to mean anything. But in a bed it feels different, like it's special and everything. If we do it on a mattress it'll feel like we can't go back to being friends. We're either more than friends or we can never go back to being 'just friends.' Do you know what I mean?"

"So if we fuck in our bed that makes things different for you?"

He nods, "it makes things really different for me."

"So we'd have to be something more or nothing at all," he asks.

"Yeah."

"Well," he starts, "you know how I feel about being something more."

"Yeah," Cody says, "I know. Which is why we can't do it in a bed."

Noel doesn't feel hungry anymore and puts the half a slice in the box, closing it.

"Have you ever been in love with someone?"

Cody puts his pizza down and nods, "yeah. Have you?"

"You already know the answer to that," Noel laughs before getting quiet for a minute. Cody pulls his knees to his chest and Noel looks down at the floor, "Cody?"

"Yeah?"

He takes a deep breath, tears forming in his eyes. He lets out the shaky breath before speaking, "do you think you could ever love me?"

And Cody scoffs, "shut up."

He swallows hard, and the tears fall down, "I know I'm not taller than you. I know I'm not muscly, and I know I'm not what you're looking for but I can do a shitload of other things."

Cody turns to look at him and it's too late to wipe his eyes. It's too late to say 'just kidding' because he's crying and he doesn't cry in front of Cody. He knows he isn't joking.

"I can cook, I can do dishes, I can take care of you, I can work hard to give you whatever you want, whatever you need. I would beat the shit out of anyone who trashed talked you in front of me and if I couldn't I would still take a beating defending you. I would do anything for you because I'm in love with you. I've always been in love with you and I'll always be in love with you and if you give me a chance I swear I'll do anything to make you happy."

Cody's mouth is open and Noel's wiping his face before he's rubbing his knees. His hands are sweating and Cody still hasn't said a word. Noel gets off the couch and kneels in front of him, "please just give me a chance."

He takes Noel's hand, "you are my best friend and you're kind and smart and loyal and you have been with me through everything..."

"But," Noel says for him.

"But I've been in love with you for years," he says. 

"What?"

"You must've known that. Everyone teased me for it, it's why Bethany didn't like me, it's why I didn't date anybody."

"So you've been in love with me for years?"

"Yeah."

"The time you said I love you in the car when we," he trails off, he closes his eyes shaking his head, "you meant it. I'd always been in love with you but I just thought you were too good for me."

"I always thought I wasn't good enough," he admits, "you're good looking, like, _really_ good looking. You could have had anyone in our grade. You probably still can."

"I only wanted you. No one else made me feel like this."

"It's weird looking at all the time between then and now and realizing all those things you did. The time in the bathroom you meant it when you told me you loved me. All those times you gave me those suckers. You remembered it was my favorite and you carried them around with you for years."

He nods, "I've always been in love with you, I thought you just kept me around because you knew-"

"And you thought I was taking advantage of your love for me."

"Yeah," he says. 

"I thought the same," he says, "but I couldn't get over you. Even though all I thought you wanted from me was sex I still wanted to be closer, I even moved in with you."

"I'm really glad you did. I like having you here," he smiles, "so much so that I don't want you to go."

Cody takes his hands, smiling down at him, "I'll stay if you want me to. Just tell me what you want." 

He lets go of his hands and lays his head on Cody's legs, wrapping his arms around them, "I want you to stay. I don't want you to go."

His hand makes his way in Noel's hair and it makes him close his eyes and hold on a little tighter. His fingers run through his hair and Cody speaks softer, "then I wont go. I'll stay right here."

He turns his head, kissing Cody's thigh before looking up at him. Cody's swiping the tears that hadn't quite dried on Noel's cheeks. He lets go and touches Cody's face until he pats his hand, "finish your pizza."

And suddenly his appetite is back. He takes his pizza and eats it, holding the box closer for Cody to get his piece. Noel sits beside him, thighs touching as Cody smiles. He's got a mouthful of pizza when he gives him a look, "what?"

"You know, we have a whole couch," he says, "are you going to be a clingy boyfriend?"

"Says the person who practically lives in my lap and tries to cuddle me whenever they get the chance."

"I know _I'm_ clingy, I just didn't know you would be too."

"I'm not _clingy._ Maybe a little clingy but not like on you at all times, you know? I know I don't _need_ to be touching you at all times," he says, "but I want to."

"So sweet," he smiles, finishing up his pizza, "speaking of sweet, do you know what I could go for right now?"

"I've got a pretty good idea," he says.

"Will you get one for me?"

He finishes the last bite of his pizza and stands, heading over to the jar and pulling out a red and blue sucker before going back to him. He unwraps the red, popping it into his mouth while Cody happily undoes the blue one and puts it in his cheek.

"You look like a chipmunk," he says, "it's cute. You're cute."

"Put our show back on," he says crawling into his lap, "and put your arms around me."

"So bossy," he says, pulling the candy from his mouth and kissing his cheek, "but okay."

He turns the show back on and his arms settle around Cody's waist. And when he's focused on the show Noel's whispering in his ear, "I love you."

He grins and turns to Noel, pulling the sucker from his own mouth, "I love you too."

He puckers his lips and when Noel presses a kiss to them he's leaning back against him, rubbing his arms. They only watch the show for a minute until Cody's moving the sucker to the other cheek, "and _now_ I'm tired."

He chuckles, "you want me to carry you, don't you?"

"Please," he asks, looking at him with big eyes and a small pout.

And with that tone, that face? Noel could never resist. He turns the show off and sets him to the side before standing. Cody wraps his arms and legs around him, Noel smiling. He loves the feeling of him on him and when Cody hides his face in his shoulder he's chuckling, "so fucking spoiled."

\---

"I want the red one this time," Cody says. 

"You want the red one," Noel asks, "you have a fever? You sick?"

"Just give it here."

He hands the red sucker to him and takes the blue one for himself. Cody's quick to unwrap his and pop it into his mouth while Noel leans back against the pillows. Noel twirls the candy between his fingers before setting it to the side and watching Cody lay on his stomach, scrolling through his phone. He looks over him, the pink underwear Cody swears is _salmon_ hugging him, his shirt raised up to expose the sliver of skin just above his butt. It was one of his shirts he barely wore which in Cody's mind meant it was his for the taking. It was a little loose on him, but he liked Cody in white. He hears the sandy haired man give a small laugh before scrolling more.

Despite being together they still hadn't actually had sex in their bed. They'd jerked each other off, made out, and Noel had fingered him once, but they'd never had sex. Noel reaches out and takes him by his hips, dragging him closer. Cody pulls the candy out of his mouth and turns to look back at him, lips now looking red.

_I'd kill to have those lips around my dick right now._

"What is it?"

"Nothing," he says, pulling the underwear off him slow, "just wanna look at you."

He moves his legs letting the underwear get taken off him. Noel puts a pillow under him and pulls his hips off the mattress. Cody put his sucker back in his mouth and scrolls his phone while Noel's putting each of his thighs over his shoulder and spreading his cheeks apart. He laves his tongue over his hole and Cody moans, turning back to look at him. Noel winks at him and pushes his tongue in and Cody puts his phone down and pulls the sucker from his mouth. He pulls back his hand, spanking him and making him jump before he's wiggling his hips back against his tongue.

"You like that?"

He nods and Noel teases circles around his hole making him squirm, "Noel!"

He pulls back his hand, spanking him again before sticking his tongue back in and reaching for his dick. He uses the small amount already leaking out to thumb over the head. A hand is tight around his wrist in seconds and he's letting out a whine before hiding his face in the mattress.

"Your face is almost as red as that sucker."

Noel thumbs over the slit and Cody's letting out a shaky breath, "ah!"

He tongues over his hole and Cody's near whimpering when his hand's crushing his wrist, "you like it when I do that?"

"Noel," he says, but it sounds more like begging. 

"If this is all you need to cum then I don't think this'll take very long," he says, continuing to use his tongue to open him up while Cody's whining each time he teases over his slit. 

"Stop," he says, pulling Noel's hand off himself. 

Noel stops everything he's doing and Cody's holding his hand, softly panting, "just give me a second." 

"That too much for you, baby?"

He nods, "way too much."

"I wont do that then. I'll go slower," he says, "want me to eat your ass slower? You can ride my face if you want to, play on your phone while you ride my tongue."

He nods, handing him his phone to put on the night stand, "just do it until you can't wait any longer and you feel like you need to be inside me."

He smiles, "I can do that."

Noel lays back and pats Cody's thigh, "come here."

He backs up and Noel's positioning him until he's facing away from him. Once he sits down Noel's tongue is back to circling his hole. He hums and Noel's taking his time licking him open while he hears Cody sucking on his lollipop. 

_Fuck, I wish he were sucking me off right now._

Soon Cody's moving back and forth slow before a hand is placed on Noel's underwear. He rubs him through the fabric with one hand, holding onto the sucker with the other.

_I should have set up a camera._

He pulls back his hand, spanking him and Cody moans as his tongue presses in deeper. Cody leans down, lips tracing the outline of his cock. Noel stop for a minute and Cody's palming him through them slower before pulling the sucker from his mouth, "why'd you stop?"

He keeps going, hands under Cody's legs to hold onto the tops of his thighs. He's sitting back up and slowly moving his hips up and down while he hums before moans, "you're so good at that."

_God he's gonna kill me with that voice._

He leans down, pushing Noel's underwear down slightly until his cock is free. Cody takes it in his hand, thumbing over the wet slit. He moans and Cody lets out a shaky breath before trying to be quiet. He does it again and when he moans he can hear the way Cody's biting his lip with a small, "mmm!"

Noel's hands go up the thighs to his stomach, his fingers soon finding his nipples and pinching them so he jumps, "Noel!"

He smiles and keeps licking. Cody thumbs over the head of his dick again and he groans before shoving his tongue inside him.

"Ah!"

Cody leans down, and rolls his tongue over the tip and Noel's eyes nearly roll back when he does. He takes the tip in his mouth, humming around it before using his tongue to slide over the tip back and forth. He pulls off with a small pop and kisses his hip making him jerk under him. Cody's lips are back on him, kissing up his shaft before sliding his tongue up and taking him as deep as he can. He hums around him and bobs his head while his hand moves slow. His tongue stops and he lays his head back, "fuck."

Cody pulls off with another pop before using his hand to jerk him off. He turns back to look at him, lips wet and red, "too much? Want me to suck it slower?"

"Cody."

He gets off him and turns toward him, "I'll even sit like this so you can watch."

He holds it back up and Noel sits up on his elbows watching Cody kiss the tip before looking at him and sinking his mouth down to the base. He slides down his throat and Noel's fists clench, "fuck."

He pulls off, the spit sliding down and Cody uses it to rub over his cock. He puts the sucker in his mouth, smiling at him as he thumbs over him. Noel closes his eyes groaning before he looks at Cody, "get on your back."

Cody lays back, shirt riding up to expose part of his stomach. Noel grabs some lube and a pillow. He folds it and puts it under Cody's hips before sitting up on his knees watching him suck on his candy. Noel pours lube onto his hand, rubbing over his cock before using his fingers to tease at Cody's hole. He hums softly before pulling the sucker out of his mouth, "can I still eat this while we have sex?"

Noel pushes in and takes the candy from him. He pouts and Noel puts it to his lips, "yeah, but I get to hold it." 

He smiles and Noel taps his lips, "open."

He opens his mouth and sets it on his tongue. Noel pulls it out slow and pushes it back in and Cody closes his eyes while his hips move, "you keep sucking on that and I'll fuck you real slow."

Noel looks over him, everything about him soft an sweet. He slides his hands up Cody's thigh an soon reaches for his dick. Cody's eyes open and he moans before holding onto his wrist. He lets go and Cody's fingers release his wrist. He lets go of the stick and Cody cheeks the sucker while Noel takes his hands. When he puts Cody's wrists beside his head he lets go. He taps the center of his palms and Cody moves the sucker to the middle of his mouth and smiles at him. His hips move a little faster and Noel's grabbing the candy stick again. He pulls it from his mouth and pushes it back in. He matches his thrusts with the candy and Cody moans.

_Fuck, he looks good like this. I wanna take a picture. I have to take a picture._

"Can I take a picture of you like this," he asks, "so I have something to look at when you have to be somewhere else? Something just for me?"

He nods, "okay."

Noel takes his phone off the night stand and holds the stick. Cody closes his eyes, sucking on it and Noel takes a picture. _That's my new lock screen._

"Can I take a video?" 

"Are you gonna post it anywhere?"

"No, just something for me to watch when you're gone off somewhere." 

"Okay." 

He presses record and watches through the screen, Cody's mouth red and wet around a lollipop while his cock leaks against his stomach. Noel thrusts in and out a little faster and Cody moans. _Fuck, I love him so fucking much._ He stays still apart from his mouth, hands still by his head and his legs still spread apart while Noel's hips are pressed against his with every thrust. He thrusts in a little harder, not being able to help himself. Something about watching Cody on camera was too good. Maybe it was all the porn he'd watched, picturing himself as the one fucking every single guy on the screen. And now that Cody was on the screen and he was the one actually getting to fuck him it was way hotter.

He pulls the candy from his mouth and Cody looks up at the camera as he moans. He's panting slightly when he sticks out his tongue, waiting for the lollipop. He rests it on his tongue and Cody's eyes close again, happily sucking on it.

"Is it good, pretty boy?"

He nods and licks at it slow until his mouth closes around it. He reaches for Cody's cheek and soon he lifts one hand off the bed to put it on top of Noel's when he smiles at the camera. Noel talks again, "I love you, baby."

He takes the sucker out of his mouth with a small pop, "I love you too."

He stops recording and soon he's taking the candy from him and leans down kissing him, hips slowing down. Cody kisses him back before wrapping his arms around his neck, "remember, that's for your eyes only."

He smiles and moves to kiss his neck before chuckling, "you know I don't like sharing you with other guys."

"You don't ever have to, I don't want anyone else," he tells him, "I only want you."

"I should have had you say that on camera. I like hearing that," he smiles, looking over his face.

"I'm only yours," he tells him when a hand goes through his hair, "always yours."

He kisses him one last time before putting the lollipop back at his lips. He opens his mouth and Noel times each push with every thrust, watching him as he smiles, "I'm glad you said that because you're the only person in the world I'll ever want to be mine."

He leans down, watching him take the sucker in and out of his mouth with a small smile. He takes it out and Cody gives him a more serious look, "faster."

"Look at you being bossy," he says, "thought you liked it slow, thought that was what you wanted."

He kisses under his ear and Cody shakes his head, "want it harder."

"Harder too, it's our first time in this bed," he tells him, "don't you want me to take my time?" 

"Noel," he warns. 

He chuckles and nods, "alright, alright, here."

He nearly snatches the candy from him and Noel pulls back watching him shove it into his mouth and sit up on his elbows. Noel scoops up each thigh, letting the back of his knees rest on his elbow, before he starts moving his hips faster. He moans and lays back letting Noel move rougher while he pulls the candy from his mouth so he can moan louder. And Noel has to talk to him, has to say something when he looks this good, "fuck, you take it so good."

"Flip me over," he says, "wanna be on my stomach."

"I don't know," he says, "you look pretty cute like this." 

"Now," he growls. 

Noel pulls out and flips him near instantly, pushing back inside him. Cody sits up on his elbows sucking on his candy while Noel thrusts fast and hard. He leans in next to Cody's ear, "you know you're real bossy when you don't get your way."

"Can you pull my hair," he asks, not bothering to remove the lollipop from his mouth, "please?"

"Oh now you act sweet," he asks.

He turns to look at him before pulling it out, "please, Noel?"

His mouth is slicked with spit and he's giving him puppy eyes while he moans. _Fuck. It should be illegal to look that hot._ He moans again when his dick hits just right inside him.

"Yeah," he nods, "yeah, baby, whatever you want." 

Cody licks the lollipop before turning back around with a smile. _He knows exactly what he's doing._ He reaches out, pulling his hair and Cody shoves the candy in his mouth, humming around it. Noel leans in next to his ear, "spoiled rotten aren't you?"

He nods, taking the sucker out of his mouth and holding it close enough that each thrust makes his head bob over it. He pulls his hair harder and makes him moan and Noel shakes his head, "always gotta have something inside you at all times. Either in your ass or your mouth, so needy."

"You could always deny me," he says, turning to look at him, "but you know you like it just as much as I do." 

"Do I," he asks, pulling his hair again, this time harder. 

He moans before biting back a smile, "yeah, you love it. You love being inside me, especially in my mouth. I can tell you like me blowing you a lot because even when I'm not you love watching me eat suckers."

He fucks him harder and Cody shoves the candy back in his mouth and holds onto the blanket tighter. 

"No I don't," he says. 

He nods, "yeah you do."

Cody raises his hips and takes Noel's hand, moving it under him so he'll jerk him off. He does what he wants, jerking him off and pulling his hair while he holds himself up. They're closer now and Cody's smiling and pulling the lollipop from his mouth with a dramatic pop just for him, "you love it, you like watching me suck on them, especially the red ones because you think I look cute when my lips are red." 

Noel's looking right at his mouth and watching him purse his lips and make a kissy face at him, when he looks to his eyes Cody's got a smirk on his face whispering, "very cherry."

And Noel can't help himself, he cums right then, jerking Cody off faster. When he spills over his fingers Cody's letting out a long moan before resting his head against the mattress. He pulls out of him and wipes his hand off on a stray sock he finds on the floor. He pulls up his underwear and moves over to the edge of the bed to sit on the floor in front of it. He's up on his knees in front of Cody's face and when he looks up at him he smiles, "well, now I know what to say to you to get you in the mood."

"That was fucking great," he says. 

Cody's hand goes to Noel's hair, running through it before smiling, "yeah?"

"We should definitely fuck more when you're eating those." 

"Maybe," he says, "maybe we can."

"And we should definitely film it more often."

"Yeah," he asks, popping the candy into his mouth and getting up to head to the bathroom, "would I be the lonely teacher who gets fucked by their fuckboy student? Or are you gonna play the strict professor while I play the student desperate to get a better grade on their test? That'd be kinda hot. Would I call you Mr. Miller?"

"I don't know, try it out for me real quick." 

"Please, Mr. Miller, I'll do anything for a better grade."

"Yeah," he nods, "I think I like that. But I just meant film when we have sex. I think I have that kink. Where I like watching our sex on camera." 

"I think I like you shoving things in my mouth while we fuck. Next time put your fingers in my mouth to keep me quiet."

Cody moves in front of the mirror and Noel comes up behind him wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his neck, "why would I ever want to keep _you_ quiet?" 

"In case we're in public."

"Public? You into stuff like that?" 

"Maybe," he shrugs, "I guess we'll have to see." 

Noel grabs a wash cloth, wetting it and cleaning between Cody's thighs. He cleans the cum from his hole and tosses it in the laundry basket when he's done, "I'll be back with some underwear."

He quickly loads the washing machine up and starts it before grabbing a pair of red underwear and heading back to the bathroom. Cody's sat on the sink and Noel's bending down, sliding the underwear up his legs. He gets down for a moment, adjusting them before sitting back on the counter top. 

"What do you want to eat," Noel asks, "cause I don't know about you but after that I'm starving."

"Hmm, maybe tacos. Or something with chicken."

"I'll order chicken and tacos," he says taking the sucker out of his mouth and kissing him. 

Noel puts it in his mouth and Cody grabs his hips, pulling him closer between his legs so their hips are touching, "can I give you something?"

"If it's a blowjob," he starts, "my dick is way too tired."

"It's not a blowjob."

"Okay, what is it?" 

"Go get my wallet." 

He goes back to the room, getting his wallet and opening a drawer grabbing a small box and tucking it behind him in the waistband of his boxers before heading back to the bathroom. He holds it for a minute before Cody takes it smiling, "do you remember when we were kids and they were doing the candygrams?" 

"How could I forget," he asks, "that's when a chunk of my paycheck started going into getting a lot of those blue suckers for you over the years."

He smiles and takes out a piece of paper, "um, this is the one I bought for you but I was too scared to give to you."

He looks at the paper. 

**'I love you' - Cody**

He smiles and taps it with his finger, "you wanna know something funny?"

"What?"

"I sent you one," he nods, "with the exact same words but I was too scared to sign my name."

He pulls out another paper and shows it to him, "this one?"

He smiles even bigger, "you kept it?" 

"Of course I kept it. It was the only candygram I kept out of the ones I got."

"You know, when I sent this I was scared shitless. I was terrified that you would recognize my handwriting and that you knew and you just didn't say anything because you didn't want me like that."

"I was going to give it to you personally. But then I saw you throw out all the candygrams you'd gotten and I didn't want to give it to you because I would have been devastated if you'd done that to mine." 

"I wouldn't have done that to you."

"I know," he smiles, "you're too nice to do something like that."

"We should frame these," he nods, looking over their handwriting, _we were so young when we wrote these._

Cody smiles, "you want to?"

He nods, "yeah, we'll frame them and find a good spot for them."

"Maybe we could frame them with something else important."

"Yeah, like what," he asks, looking at how Cody's and tracing his name with his finger

"Like a marriage certificate..."

And that gets his attention. He looks up and Cody's cheeks are heated pink as he's holding a gold ring out for him. A smile plays at the corner of Noel's mouth and Cody's looking nervous when Noel pulls the sucker from his mouth, "what's this?"

"Well, I know we haven't been together for a long time but I can't picture being with anyone but you. So I was wondering..."

And Noel gives him a quick raise of his eyebrows before smiling, "yeah, what were you wondering?"

He looks away for a moment, looking as if he was trying to focus on what he was saying. 

"I wanted to ask you," he says finally looking up at him.

"Yes?"

"Noel Miller," he says. 

"Cody Kolodziejzyk."

"Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will," he says leaning in and kissing him.

He holds out his hand to him and Cody slides it on his finger. Noel looks at it, "you wanna know something about this ring?"

"What," he asks, nervously, "do you not like gold? You more of a silver kind of guy? Is something wrong with it?"

"No, it's perfect, just there's something about it," he tells him, looking over it.

And Cody looks between him and the ring before frowning, "what? What is it?"

He smiles, "I think this is prettier than the one I got for you."

Cody's face flushes and he smiles, "oh?"

"Yeah," he says pulling out the small box from behind him.

"Did you put that in the back of your underwear?"

He nods holding it out for him. He takes it from him, opening it up to see the similar gold band sitting inside. He smiles and Noel rests his forehead against his, "do you like it? You more of a silver kind of guy? Did you want a giant rock? We can take them back, get matching diamonds. Then again, the diamond business is extremely unethical. I watched a whole documentary on it. I don't know, maybe we'll get the synthetic ones they grow in a lab or something. Unless you want a different color instead, maybe like green or blue or-"

Cody presses his mouth to his before smiling, "it's perfect."

"Good," he says watching him slip it on his finger and begin playing with it, "only the best for you."

Noel pops the sucker back into his mouth before wrapping his arms around his waist and hugging him close. Cody's arms come around him and he's soon resting his head on his shoulder, "can we watch something in the living room while we wait on the food to get here?"

"Sure, baby, whatever you want."

"Can you carry me in there?"

"You asked me to marry you," he lifts him, "shouldn't you be carrying me?"

"I'm tired," he says.

"You're always tired," he says carrying him into the living room, "you know I can't carry you forever, what gonna happen when we get old?" 

"You'll still be able to push me in my wheelchair."

"I spoil you too much."

"I know," he smiles, "I kind of love it."

He sets him on the couch and sits beside him, raising his arms so Cody can crawl into his lap. He takes his seat on him sideways so he can rest his head against his neck. Noel pulls a blanket around them and Cody's pulling his arms around his waist and kissing his collarbone, "I'll make sure to spoil you too. Plenty of hugs and kisses."

He smiles and soon Cody's sucking a mark onto his skin, "and the best sloppy toppy you have ever had-"

He laughs, cutting his sentence off and he can feel him laugh as he kisses up his neck, "in your entire life."

He moves Cody's head, kissing under his ear so light that it makes Cody giggle and squirm around on his lap, "and I'll make sure to blow your back out every night."

Cody shakes his head before moving away from his lips, "that tickles."

"Keep wiggling around like that and I'll blow it out right here on this couch," he warns.

He laughs, "you wish you could go for another that fast."

Cody soon moves around to face him and touches his nose to his, "you always wanna fuck me."

He raises his brows, "hold up, are you trying to tell me you don't think I could fuck you twice in a day?"

"Not that fast after we just had sex."

"Is that a challenge?"

"You don't have the stamina for something like that. You can go one time but then you'll need like a full eight or nine hours to recharge."

"One day I'll fuck you twice in a day, hell, I'll fuck you three times."

His eyes go wide, looking amused, "is that a promise?"

"Yeah," he says, "how's that sound? Three times in a day?"

"Sounds like I'll be sore," he says, "but I'm kind of okay with it."

Noel leans in, pressing his lips to his for a few seconds before pulling from him, Cody looking over him with a grin as his fingertips lightly touch the freckles on his face, "I love you."

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> You don't have to read Cody's point of view but it's there if you want it.


End file.
